“It’s very puzzling… I was thinking we lesbians are safe”

Perhaps infected them. Every one of these individuals reported they’d never been with male lovers or had contact with medical transmissions or drug that is injecting (we failed to ask if individuals had been created with HIV or other feasible risks of transmission). Although burdensome for them all to comprehend, the actual only real possible path of transmission and behaviour that is risky could report ended up being intercourse with other females. All individuals also claimed which they had been surprised to learn they was contaminated with HIV and may maybe not know how it had occurred. That they had all thought that simply because they had just been with ladies, these were safe:

“…i possibly couldn’t know how it just happened because I happened to be fine and I also thought we (lesbians) are safe, and also the only individual I happened to be intimately active with has also been a lady. I really couldn’t comprehend… I possibly couldn’t comprehend. I possibly couldn’t know how I possibly could have contracted the herpes virus whenever I had thought I became safe in a real way! ” Zanele, 31 yrs old, Durban

“It’s the manner in which you get diseased as a lesbian since it’s actually confusing just exactly how you are able. Other females understand which they have it from their sexcamly webcams lovers during penetrative sexual activity then again as a lady that is a lesbian whom additionally sleeps along with other ladies – it is extremely confusing. ” Lebo, 22 yrs old, Pretoria

The individuals’ confusion and disbelief is obvious through the examples that are above. Within the very first estimate, Zanele repeats exactly just how she “couldn’t understand” being HIV infected. This feeling of confusion and very nearly maybe perhaps not believing this 1 is HIV good ended up being a recurring theme for the five individuals whom reported exclusive intimate associates with ladies in their life time. It stays not clear for all of them just exactly how transmission that is possible happen between females.

Of these individuals, coping with HIV demands constant explanations of how one got contaminated as assumptions override lived realities. Not just are participants not able to comprehend feasible disease for themselves, they simultaneously battle to respond to constant concerns from other people on how they may be contaminated:

“People think you got HIV that you have slept with a man and that’s how. It generates my entire life much much harder because as being a lesbian woman whom is HIV good, i have to explain the way I got HIV. ” Bongi, 33 yrs old, Johannesburg

“In the city they raise numerous questions regarding the actual fact that i will be a lesbian and once they see…my partner is a female. Then, `how did I be HIV good once I have always been someone who really really loves other ladies? ‘ they ask. Some also get in terms of saying it’s not astonishing I have you ever heard that a woman and another girl are included? That i’ve HIV – where have actually” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban

It’s obvious through the above quotes that their HIV good status produces various difficulties into the everyday lives among these ladies. The constant need to explain an individual’s status to other people shows that you can still find misconceptions about HIV transmission along with lack of knowledge about same-sex relations.

Choosing to disclose

Individuals were additionally asked should they had disclosed their status to anybody apart from the interviewer. Reactions suggest that virtually all individuals had disclosed up to someone, some household members and few buddies. But, a participants that are few just disclosed to at least one or two other people. Some had disclosed to household members, buddies as well as publicly. Among the list of individuals had been a couple of AIDS activists have been understood within their communities to be residing freely with HIV. For all individuals that has disclosed to loved ones and buddies, disclosure ended up being couched within the language of protection – i.e. Protecting yourself and another from feasible infection:

I still have to do the same for myself“As I would like to protect the next person. I might nothing like to get re-infected…As very long you can certainly still get re-infected. While you continue having non-safe sex, ” Zintle, 22 yrs old, Pretoria

“My mom as well knows (about my HIV status) because that she must use gloves to help so she won’t be infected” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban if I collapse in front of her she must know

While individuals may shy far from disclosing to your average man or woman, all claimed the requirement and significance of disclosing to intimate lovers. Central to such disclosure is protecting someone and ensuring she doesn’t get badly infected:

“Most associated with the lovers that I became dating – a lot of them are now actually HIV negative and we just be sure that they can always stay HIV negative. I mightn’t risk their life and We just be sure that I mightn’t do just about anything…” Taati, 26 yrs old, Windhoek